I Know Not Who Walks This Path

All is make-believe
Parody, allegory, trickery,
Until something happens that
Breaks your heart,
Quells your spirit,
Puts you on the edge of death;
Eventually, even tragedy and loss
Gain objective detachability
With time, experience, acceptance
To reach the point where
Pain is no longer
Owned, protected, cared for,...
Suffering makes us give up
On the present
To pay homage and a twisted
Honor to a past,
A past more vital and alive
Than any present,
The birth of bitterness, egoness, self-denial,
Fear and intimidation,
Surrender and chronic despair,
Abandonment of first-born;
Battlecry: I AM
To the root, the kernel of
Original pain,
The source of rage and rebellion,
i AM NOT FREE --
Pain of abandonment,
Rejection and irretrievable
Loss... and fear, terror
Of the chaos of getting lost
Forevermore,
But that was then
When you were small,
All pain must be
disowned, forgotten, accepted, absorbed,...
Theatre and Life's celebration
Culture and Freedom
For their own sakes
To once again take up
The gauntlet, to fight at every moment,
To realize, to actualize,
To feel the Power
To concede and commit
Allegiance to Nature,
To God, to the underworld,
To clarity and sanity,
To chaos and spontaneity,
To God's Will and
No other...
It is a freedom born of
Magic and an exhilaration,
A vigorousness, a vitality,
An open creativity
That can only be known
When in the midst of
Primordial afterglow,
Humor and assertion,
In the face of hypocrisy
In the face of God;
There is no time to waste,
To wallow in uncertainty,
To be afraid to be,
What else have we?
The claim of the gods,
The ones for whom the
Universe was made,
Was spewed from the ashes
of the One before
As though there had been a
Before;
There is no past, no future,
No reason, no denial,
No 'Order out of Chaos';
Life is so much simpler
Then it first appears,
Complexity, time stream,
Products of the mind;
Fear, Clarity, Power, Wisdom:
The four pillars of Time
And Space;
The geometry of God's Mind
Wends Its Way through
The fibers of our being
Here on Earth as Earth,
To have and know the
Power of God
Yet not to use it
For its own sake
Is the ultimate rejection:
God rejecting Himself,
The ultimate schism,
The fundamental denial,
The black hole sucking
Down all sparks of
future hope with
Past revision;
I know not who walks this path,
Missed opportunities
Bleed dry, Wring out,
To dwell, to drain,
To miss again;
I know not who walks this path,
Were he awake
Would he choose to be
When choice be there,
God's greatest gift
And His grace to all.

Adrian Dorn
6/28/96
Kodiak, Alaska